I dont feel normal. I feel like a real outsider even with the best friends that I have ever had. why is it like this ? I feel awkward even when i`m enjoying myself a bit, and when i try to say something i feel like no one understands or hear me. I feel like a wallpaper.
This blog has for sure become my journal , I feel the need to express myself sometimes. This is where that happens. I
m currently drunk while writing this by the way. Why did I even mention that? what does that matter ? I can`t be that drunk since i manage to write this with no problems. Okey back to the point of this, I´m so tired of feeling like a wallpaper. The problem is; I dont know how to not be one. Even alcohol does not change that, I dont know what or if I will ever change.
Is this a sign, that i will never figure out life? or is it a sign that i should keep going ?
I´m so tired of trying.
I want to give up, and make it all go away
But at the same time
I feel like pushing through
should I , I should i not ….
everyone make sit seem so easy
Its fucking awful
I cant tell people in real life that I´m tired
I already know what they will say
I dont want to hear it