Seeking More

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Hi!

I don`t know about you but I`m always on the search for more. More of life, more of anything and everything. Not that I am not happy with what I got now, I feel like there is more waiting for me somewhere out there you know.  I am as I have told you before a huge dreamer, I believe therefor that anything is possible if you work hard enough to make it happen.  Photography, writing and filming is my thing I know that now. Usually I say that I am going to do lots and lots of things but I never do, I mean I said I was going to go vegan a while back. I did it for a week thought but… I´m not vegan anymore. I tired writing regularly, that never happend. My point is that I say I´m going to do so many things, but it have never turned out to be what I actually wanted to do. I think I have tried not everything, but not far from it either. So I think my path to go is doing exactly as I do now. Write whats on my mind, take pictures and post them to show the world who I am and film to make the world understand me. something along those lines. I wish one day to make a living out of doing this, because I really don`t think there is anything else I will enjoy more then what I do now. I love being creative, its always been my thing. I have never been very good in school, I am almost failing math. Being creative is what I want to do. When I say that this and that is what I want to do, I mean that those are things I want to make a living out of. I don`t want to be as everyone else, I`m not like everyone else. I  need to do what my heart tells me to do in order to be happy. There was a time where I was really unhappy with everything, and that was the time where I did nothing. I sat in room and did nothing. I changed that and did everything, everything I thought I wanted to do. While all the things that I really wanted to do was the once that I had done since I was little. I started taking photos in 7th grade, I also had a blog at the time. I did that for a while and then suddenly I stopped doing that along with talking and some other things. I stopped doing everything basically, I don`t know why I just did. At some point I got tired of doing nothing when there where so many things I missed doing, like writing for example. I started slowly but surely doing things again and I never stopped after that. I did crossfit, tried being vegan and so many other things. In the end there where those three simple things I had always done, photography, writing and filming. I have made so many weird films on my computer like you have no idea.  It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about on my blog, what I wanted to take pictures of and what I should film but its pretty clear to me now what I want to convey. I simply want the world to see me as ME.

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Before I ususally did what everyone else did, and I lost my best friends while doing that by the way. I was bullied a lot but I found that when I didn`t have anyone I was so scared to do everything cause I didn`t have anyone to do things first so I couldn`t copy them. That made me really scared but I also learned that I needed to find out who I really was. I am me now, but I`m most definatly not done developing my meanings and such. I will still shape and find out more about myself as I grow, once I´m old I will not just be old but old and wise. haha. I found back to my friends and got some new once. They are probably going to be my friends for the rest of my life, I know myself and am now confident enough to show the world who I am. Everything we go through in life make us who we are today, so everything I have been through have made me stronger. This was a confusing post but I want you to know that I am still a teenager and my mind and my life is confusing, that effects what I do.

Be you!

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