#lifeofanoutsider

Hey there, I feel like I haven`t written the #lifeofanoutsider series in a while and I felt like doing it. Here we are writing in my series called #lifeofanoutsider, okey lets get real. The reason I`m really writing is because feel a little out of it today, so why not write about it? I got some cute messages from my last blog post and I just wanted to say thank you! Thank you for reading it, for answering and sharing your opinion stuff like that really matters to me. I`m a strange kid, sometimes I want to travel the world and be free and sometimes I just want to lay in bed and think. maybe watch a movie or something. Today I have actually (together with my dad) put together my new bed from Ikea, which meant a lot or parts needed to be put together. Also a lot of cussing needed to be done in order to now have the finished bed in my room. I`m laying on top of my bed now and enjoying my view. In other words if I didn`t need to put my bed together this would be a day where I just lay in bed thinking and stuff. like I said I`m a little out of it today, and I don`t know why.

I just watched the Duff and its such a good movie, I love it! I already watched that movie a couple weeks back but I was in the mood for a fun but inspiring and upifting movie. You also know if you`ve read my other posts in this series that I don`t like labels, this movie gets me. I don`t like labeling but I am known as the weirdo or outsider and  I`m gonna be the best weirdo/outsider I can be. Even though I don`t know how I`m gonna be that I am still gonna be the best I can be. If you know what I can do to be the best outsider I can be, please let me know.

There has been a lot of questions for me about my future lately, what are you gonna be? Where are you going to study? Do you know if you want to go back to regular school next summer? and tuns of other questions from everyone. I guess that is the nice way of asking me are you EVER going to get rid of your social anxiety??? I stopped going to regular school because I couldn`t handle it, I literally hid in the woods all day because I didn`t dare going to my classes. that isn`t my point but I just wanted to get it out so yeah, my point is that I have no idea about anything. I don´t know when I will get rid of my anxiety, I don`t even know if I ever will get rid of it. All these questions people ask me is questions I have been asking myself since I started high school. I don`t know what the h*** I`m doing with my life, I just don`t know. I have been dreaming about just traveling on my own and figure things out, but I don`t have the money to do that. I`m not even 18. I have no idea what my future will look like, but there are curtain things I have been dreaming about doing. Travel the world. I love to travel but I can`t live of off traveling. Write a book, but I haven`t taken any classes for that and like me? write a book ??  be a photographer, but then I would have to talk to lots of people and know everything about photography and stuff. I don´t know anything other then a little bit about everything. How am I ever going to find myself a path I want to go? if you know please let me know how you know.

I am going to stop writing now because I want to see another movie or maybe read a little bit in my weird book that I burrowed on the library the other day. Its called Grasshopper.

Okey bye

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