#lifeofanoutsider

I am a seventeen year old girl who is supposed to be having the time of her life in high school, you know dating cute boys  and partying every weekend while your parents think your on a sleepover, with all your girlfriends. Only I am as opposite as that as it can get, I in fact is doing all my school work in my bedroom all by myself because I am so scared of high school. There you go, I said it ” I AM SCARED OF HIGH SCHOOL ” , not just high school but all things that have to do with high school or school in general. I hate it and I hate it so much that I can`t even go there, people are so mean and judging everything and nothing, teachers grading you about how good or terrible you are at running for example.

Like how can I like that ? How can I like that people judge people, why can`t we all be opne minded and not judgemental? Why do we even have a grading system in school? we let the teachers grade how we did in subjects to determine our futures. You are supposed to be doing that yourself, you should be making that decision! not the school adviser! I dont get this world and I don`t think I ever will… I have never felt like I am a part of it either, I feel like I`m just floating.  I guess my label in this world is an outsider or weirdo I don`t know but I do know that I wish I could actually feel like I belong on planet earth. Suprisingly  I  have friends, not a crazy amount of friends but you know, a couple of them. About six to exact, and they are really nice and I love them all. But the thing is that again I feel like I´m floating, I am there but not. you know? I want to feel alive like I am actually there. This sounds depressing but its the truth.

I just figured I should say a little bit of why I am being judgemental. You see I really feel the need to express myself sometimes, and I guess today was that kinda day where I have some really angry things that I need to get out of my mind. Even if the things didn`t really give any sense or maybe it did?

yeah I think that was my angry speech thingy for today, I am posting a picture of the sea because hopefully then I`ll calm down a bit. .

( p.s you will never influence the world trying to be like it)

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